Home » Flash fiction » Friday Fictioneers~~ 100 words on the pictured prompt~~ THE RETURN

Friday Fictioneers~~ 100 words on the pictured prompt~~ THE RETURN

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Photo prompt supplied by The Reclining Gentleman on Word Press

THE RETURN

by John Yeo

Here we lived on this side of the lake. Even the ducks seemed to know, and would not come near. The condition we suffered caused physical disfigurement and disability. The monks who looked after Mary and I kept their distance. They insisted we pray and immerse ourselves in the water many times during the day and night to wash away our sins. Mary and I met here in the leprosarium  and fell in love. Together we watched the sun  rise and set over the lake many times. Our spirits return here often to immerse ourselves in memories of the past.

Copyright © Written by John Yeo, All rights reserved

Edited and revised 28/10/2014

Peace 🙂

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20 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers~~ 100 words on the pictured prompt~~ THE RETURN

  1. Thanks for your kind remarks, Susan~ I am so happy to hear there is now a cure for this tragic disease. There has been a lot of fear and misunderstanding in the past.~

  2. Knew where that was going, John. I must say I felt instantly saddened. A compliment to your storytelling, indeed.
    I’m so pleased to read (in Suzannes’s comment) there is now an effective treatment. I can leave this sad story with hope!
    Well done to you, John.

  3. Dear John,

    This was a great story but your addition of seven superfluous commas really derails the reader’s train of thought at the station. With the possible exception of the one in the second sentence, none of the other commas are necessary. That nobody told you this should be taken as a sign of the inherent niceness of most Friday Fictioneers, but also as a sign that they are treading lightly on your work. I’m going to be the bad cop here and just split the story content away from the construction. Beautiful story, as all your readers have noted, but those commas should not be a part of it.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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