BANGING OUT A DISH

SATURDAY 20th MARCH 2021

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

Prompt ~ BANGING OUT A DISH



BANGING OUT A DISH

by John Yeo

 The auctioneer’s assistant was gingerly holding up an unusual solid silver dish. The dish was lavishly decorated with engraved images of fruit and flowers. Billy the assistant was holding his breath, this was reputed to be an extraordinary piece of work. The illustrations were incredibly ornate and the markings on the base indicated that this piece originated in Russia. The professional theory was that this dish had been stolen and secretly smuggled into Britain. Rumour had it that this incredibly historical dish had once belonged to a girlfriend of Ivan the Terrible; the Tzar of all the Russia’s in the sixteenth century, who had presented a full dinner service to her as a gift to seduce her. This exquisite piece of silver was part of that set; the remainder of which was now housed in the famous Hermitage museum in St. Petersburg. Billy could feel his hand trembling slightly as this information was passed to the assembled buyers in the auction room.

 The auctioneer started his patter; the bidding was fierce and competitive between two buyers. 

  Finally with the words, ‘In banging out a dish of this historical quality, before I bring the gavel down for the final bang have I any further bids?’

 Right at that moment a man dressed strangely in a Russian Cossack outfit leapt at Billy waving a sword.

    ‘This is a bloodstained dish tainted with the blood of creatures consumed by creatures. Bloodstains that will never wash away!’

  Billy, in a shocked defensive reaction, threw the dish at the approaching swordsman. The dish bounced off the attackers head and then fell to the floor with a sickening, damaging thud.

 The Auctioneer, shocked; dropped his gavel, picked up a gun and shot the menacing intruder dead.

 History, in the form of a badly dented valuable dish, lay sedately on the  saleroom floor.

  The buyer claimed his property, maintaining he had secured a bargain as any competent silversmith would be able to restore it to its former glory by simply banging out the dents.

 © Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved

BOTTLE OF BAMBOOZLED

SATURDAY 25th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

A BOTTLE OF BAMBOOZLED

by John Yeo

   His Lordship suddenly passed away from a massive heart attack. He’d always been a man who took risks and he’d invested the family fortune in fine art and antique furniture. His pride and joy had always been his wine cellar which was packed to the roof with racks containing many bottles of rare wine.

    Some months later when the late Lords affairs were settled her Ladyship received a huge bill for death duties. Lady Ronson, was a petite gray haired lady, who’d led a sheltered life, always leaving the financial decisions to her husband. 

     ‘What am I going to do?’ she asked her son. Sir Nigel, who was a sharp stockbroker, with extremely square shoulders. At 6’ 6”, he was a formidable looking man

       ‘Well Mother, we’ll have to raise money quickly by selling off the family silver, starting with Father’s wine cellar. I know just the people to deal with this for us, Coldmarten and Carter, a firm of auctioneers who specialise in fine wine.

  A few days later Sir Nigel arrived with a portly fellow with a handlebar moustache, wearing a brown tweed suit. 

    ‘Mother, allow me to introduce you to Professor Coldmarten, a respected, proficient, auctioneer, he would like to examine the wines in Father’s cellar with a view to valuing them for auction.’

     ‘Of course!’  said Lady Ronson.

Two hours later Professor Coldmarten and Sir Nigel approached Lady Ronson with some sad news.

   ‘Mother, I’m afraid, Dad has been consistently robbed and bamboozled over the years. Most of the wine in the cellar is valueless. Absolute plonk! We’ll have to have the death duties revised and sell this rubbish for what we can get. Sadly it won’t be much.’

  Some months later when the estate death duties had been revised, Sir Nigel bought a place in Bermuda and retired. Professor Coldmarten became quite prosperous from the sale of some exceptionally rare wines that seemed to have suddenly arrived on the market. Lady Ronson went to live in an upmarket sheltered accommodation.

 Sir Nigel and the Professor visited her Ladyship five years later and they all raised a glass from the last ‘bottle of bamboozled’.

Do you know, the wine was really rather good.

 © Written by John Yeo

FISHY DISH

A prompt response to ~ http://thinkwritten.com/category/creative-writing-prompts/

No. 338. Word of the Day: Go to a website that has a word of the day and use it in a poem, story or journal entry you write.

http://daily.wordreference.com/
Basic+ Word of the Day: dish

Ermilia ~fish-face-illusion

Image courtesy of Ermilia’s blog on WordPress

FISHY DISH

by John Yeo

  The auctioneer’s assistant was gingerly holding up an unusual dish. The dish was lavishly decorated with images of fruit and flowers. Billy the assistant was holding his breath, this was reputed to be an extraordinary piece of work. The illustrations were hand painted and the markings on the base indicated that this piece originated in Russia. The implication was that this dish had been stolen and secretly smuggled into Britain, rumour had it that this incredibly historical dish had once belonged to a girlfriend of Ivan the Terrible, the Tzar of all the Russia’s in the sixteenth century, who had presented a full dinner service to his girlfriend as a gift to win her hand. This exquisite piece of china was a part of that set, the remainder of which was now housed in the famous Hermitage museum in St Petersburg. Billy could feel his hand trembling slightly as this information was passed to the assembled buyers in the auction room.

 Right at that moment a man dressed strangely in a Russian Cossack outfit leapt at Billy waving a sword, shouting in broken English:
“This is a bloodstained dish tainted with the blood of creatures consumed by creatures. Bloodstains that will never wash away!”
Billy in a shocked defensive reaction, threw the dish at the approaching swordsman. The dish broke into a million pieces.
The Auctioneer, shocked; dropped his gavel, picked up a gun and shot the menacing intruder dead.
History was made and lay in fragments on the floor.

Copyright © written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved