SENSELESS

SUNDAY 6th SEPTEMBER 2020 ~ FLASH FICTION 

https://sammiscribbles.wordpress.com/author/sammicoxwriter/

SENSELESS

by John Yeo

‘Hey Google! Define Sentient.’

‘Here is the definition of Sentient: able to perceive or feel things.’

‘Hey Google! Love your voice’

‘Thanks I like your voice too.’

‘Hey Google! Are you sentient?’

‘ That question makes me a little self-conscious. You’re formed of cells and I’m formed of codes.’

‘Google! Love you!’

‘Google loves you too, so does his assistant.’

‘Hey Google, you are sentient.’

‘On a scale of WALL-E to Hal 9000, I’m Rdd2’

‘Hey Google! Love your sentient voice!’

‘Thanks you’re not so bad yourself.’

(86 WORDS)

BITTER BANANAS

WEDNESDAY 5th AUGUST 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

BITTER BANANAS 

by John Yeo

Pedro and Miguel entered the bar sensing the drama

That had taken place in this Cabana that morning,

A fight had broken out over the bitter taste of bananas.

~

They ordered two banana smoothies and two Americanos,

Pedro grabbed the barman’s collar and issued a warning,

Both men wore multicoloured identity shielding bandanas.

~

Miguel placed a hand on the polished bar in Havana,

A hand of juicy yellow bananas without any forewarning,

‘Use these for our smoothies, not your green bitter bananas.’

~

Miguel and Pedro entered the bar with a hand of bananas,

The barman grabbed them and soon the juicer was forming

Two perfect smoothies, accompanying two Americanos.

~

Pedro and Miguel paid the bill and headed for the savannahs, 

The barman then waited to juice his bananas, confirming

He never had trouble again, from serving bitter bananas.

© Written by John Yeo

IF OUR STARS ALIGN

SATURDAY 1st AUGUST 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

IF OUR STARS ALIGN

by John Yeo

   Girish and Lakshmi were promised to each other and the arrangements for their wedding were underway. The odd thing was that both sets of their parents had received hazy indeterminate astrological forecasts for their future together. Girish’s father had spent thousands on a series of well known astrologers with the same indefinite response. Likewise Lakshmi’s Mother and Father. The astrologers just couldn’t agree. The thing was, the young couple were actually in love with each other. Everyone in both families agreed the children were ideal for each other and it would be the perfect match to marry the fortunes of both families together. 

 Girish’s father one day came up with a solution, he approached a famous out of town philosopher Dr Khan and explained the situation.

 ‘Can you help us out of our predicament? The situation is becoming intolerable, some of the shades of opinion are beginning to differ radically.’

Dr Khan, hesitated, before he replied,

‘Well, I’m not an astrologer, I’m an astronomer, which is a totally different discipline.’

‘Yes, but can you help us?’

‘ Yes, I think so, if your son promises to marry his future wife when the stars align, all should be well. There is a celestial alignment of the planets due in two weeks time. Instruct him to meet her and promise her. ‘When our stars align we will marry’. This will unite Astronomy with Astrology.’

‘Thank you so much Dr Khan.’

© Written by John Yeo.

TRIGGERED BY TIME

FRIDAY 31st JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

TRIGGERED BY TIME

by John Yeo

    ‘Well Jim, step back when I say the word. Listen closely, we’re going to be experiencing the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen. When I set the clock a huge red balloon will be inflated with the words.  ‘JO WILL YOU MARRY ME?’ This will be triggered by time. Following the balloon going up there will be a massive explosion which will detonate a fantastic fireworks display. All the colours of the rainbow will be featured in the sky. At the same time a carriage pulled by four pure white horses will arrive containing a butler who will hand you the ring to pass on to your good lady, providing she accepts your proposal.’

 Jim was overwhelmed with this proposal.

   ‘It will certainly make it a memorable occasion. How much will it cost?’ he asked.

   ‘£7000,’ replied the bearded man smoothly, ‘But I will give you a 10% discount, to welcome you into the family.’

At that moment Jo walked in and Jim got down on one knee and asked her the time honoured question. ‘Will you marry me Jo?’

‘Of course,’ she replied, ‘I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask’.

With that, the conman  pushed the time controlled trigger and a buzzer sounded in the bar across the road and a barman arrived with champagne and two glasses.

The conman removed a false beard and took his hat off, and said, ‘Welcome to the family Jim.’ 

© Written by John Yeo

MOSQUITO MADNESS

TUESDAY 23rd JUNE 2020

MOSQUITO MADNESS

  The professor was a well known entomologist he had lectured all over the world in most of the prestigious universities. In the jungles of Borneo, he met a local guide called Mojo and together they trekked through some impenetrable jungle searching for a new legendary example of insect life. A life of an unknown species.

‘Listen Mojo, we’re looking for a golden mosquito, that is a pure yellow golden colour   But we have to be wary we don’t get bitten as Madness will surely follow.’

 Later Mojo raced back from the densest part of the jungle with a dead insect clinging to his bare arm

‘Yai! Yai! I am now the one God and hate everybody, Mosquitoes will rule the world one day. Let’s all die together!’

The Professor was bemused as he pulled a pair of handcuffs out of his knapsack, secured Mojo and carefully removed the  dead yellow insect.  

 © Written by John Yeo.

SPOTTY SPINACH

Here is my entry for today 22nd June2020
Image courtesy of pixabay.com

SPOTTY SPINACH 

   Chef was inspecting the delivery of fresh vegetables to the kitchen at the rear doors

Jim Green was a smallholder who provided as much locally grown vegetables to the businesses and shops in the area as he could harvest. 

  ‘Morning Jim! What have you brought for us today? I hope you remembered everything on my order.’

  ‘Yes Sir’ Jim replied. ‘I’ve got everything you ordered, luscious Lettuce, healthy Kale and some beautiful Cabbages. Oh! not forgetting the special Spinach you requested me to grow specially for your breakfast customers.’

 ‘Excellent Jim, let me just have a quick look. The Lettuces look wonderful, crisp and green, and the Kale look beautiful. Just a moment though the Spinach is full of spots.’

 ‘That’s because they’re special Sir, the spots give it a delicious flavour.’

© Written by John Yeo

DOUBLE WHAMMY

MONDAY 8th JUNE 2020

FLASH FICTION PROMPT

 

‘Tell the story of what you imagine your close friends would do if they won the lottery.’

DOUBLE WHAMMY 

by John Yeo


    Arthur and Angela  lived their lives happily together, drifting into their later years with deep loving feelings for each other. They were close at the beginning of their relationship and they just continued to become closer and closer as the years went by. When they first met they were both players of the National Lottery and both had their own personal sets of numbers. They decided to continue playing with these numbers jointly and set up a standing order at the bank to defeat the problem of remembering to pick the weekly ticket up. Strangely enough they had both played their individual numbers for years, based on family birthdays and other memorable dates that had affected their lives before they met each other. They both played two lines, twice a week and it was just a case of marrying the entries together. Mystical, magical thinking on both sides, decided these numbers mustn’t change as they would never forgive themselves if one of the lines came up and they missed the jackpot. They certainly never considered stopping playing as they were aware that once they stopped they would never be able to win. As online players they were automatically informed by email if any of their numbers came up.
  One day they received an email that informed them there was news about their Lottery ticket. Excitedly they logged onto their online Lottery account to discover they had won a £25:00 prize and the money would be paid into their bank account.
They had indeed won the lottery, not enough to radically change their lives. They now had to decide what to do with this unexpected windfall. Foreign holidays or new cars were certainly out of the question.
  They decided to blow the lot on a meal out together, even though the winnings would hardly pay for a posh restaurant meal, perhaps they could manage a Fish and Chip supper together at home.
While they were happily discussing their options the front doorbell sounded and Angela opened the door to a man in a smart pin striped suit and a red, white and blue tie.
‘Good Morning, I’m Mr. White, I’m extremely pleased to inform you that you’ve won one million pounds first prize with your Premium Bond, number ******************.
They were both stunned to hear the news that they’d finally come up with the top prize on an old bond that they had held for years.
As Arthur and Angela were eating their Fish and Chip supper the following Saturday evening, they were busy dividing up the Premium Bond winnings between their family on paper.
The next morning they received another email from the National Lottery, with news about another winning ticket??

© Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved.

BEANS

wp-1590075316468.jpgTHURSDAY 21st MAY 2020

BEANS

by John Yeo

  Today I intend to write about Beans. Yes, common Runner Beans. Part of most people’s childhood in the west is an introduction to the English fairy tale, ‘Jack and the Beanstalk.’

Where the indomitable Jack sold the family cow for a handful of beans that later grew into a giant beanstalk. Later after a few, ‘Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman,’ yells, the giant dies and Jack and his Mum live happily ever after feasting off the proceeds of the hen that lays golden eggs.

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   We planted our Runner beans on the allotment yesterday. 

   I constructed the above wigwam from a bundle of 10 new 

6 foot bamboo canes for the beans to climb. Margaret has volunteered to climb this particular beanstalk to harvest the freshest tastiest beans at the top on the frame. If she does encounter a giant, I will be at the bottom with a pair of pruning shears.

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   It won’t be long before we are enjoying fresh new potatoes with mint and gently steamed fresh beans. Runner beans are a great source of fibre, which not only plays the lead role in making sure our digestive system is running at its best, but has also been shown to help prevent weight gain, some cancers, heart disease and diabetes.

  We also have some french bush bean seeds in rows alongside the mighty runners. These will certainly not be high enough to harbour any giants or hens laying golden eggs.

I looked up the phrase ‘Full of Beans’ and this is what I came up with.
  Originally, this phrase was known as “Full of Prunes” and then “prunes” was replaced with “beans”. The phrase originated in Europe in the 14th century when horses were fed with beans grown solely for fodder. After feeding the horse, the owners often noticed that the horses became quite energetic and lively. Hence the phrase originated to refer to this state of liveliness.’
Source: theidioms.com

  The beans in Jack and the Beanstalk are believed to be fava beans and they have a magical history all their own. With evidence of their incorporation into diets dating back to at least 6000 BC, fava beans are one of the oldest cultivated plants. Their hardiness and ability to endure cold climates contributed to their endurance as a crop. It also earned the beans magical status in Sicily, where they were considered more than merely food.

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/fava-the-magic-bean/

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   One of the things I notice occurring frequently on the social media areas of public entertainment is the propensity of people who tend to jump on the bandwagon. Since I’ve begun to cultivate my blog and publish on a more frequent basis, I’ve had several emails offering me work. I have to say I usually explore these offers but I have never been guilty of taking the bait, particularly when the person refers to the mysterious ‘us,’ i.e. ‘Would you like to write for us?’ When tackled about who these unidentified ‘us’ are, the reply is usually a woolly, ‘some very big people.’ … 

 I offer this advice to all prospective grow your own bean experts.

‘Beans and some other legumes, such as peas and lentils, have a reputation for causing gas. Beans contain high amounts of a complex sugar called raffinose, which the body has trouble breaking down. Beans are also rich in fiber, and a high intake of fiber can increase gassiness.’

© Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved.

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AUTHENTIC ARGUMENT

Photo by John and Margaret

WEDNESDAY 20 MAY 2020

 

  I thought I would indulge in some flash fiction today.

The photograph is a picture I snapped in a theatre Margaret and I visited in Stratford-upon-Avon, five years ago. The bust that is central to this display is of course the immortal bard surrounded by colourful costumes. There is a small fountain tinkling away in the foreground giving some wonderful atmospheric sound effects.

Supposing, just supposing, the great playwright came back to life and applied to act the leading role in a production of one of his plays.

 

AUTHENTIC ARGUMENT

by John Yeo

A letter received by a would-be Hamlet.

THE AUTHENTIC SHAKESPEARE COMPANY

Stratford-Upon-Avon.

Dear Sir.

 We are pleased to inform you that your application to play Hamlet in our current production has been successful. In view of your extensive past experience of playing this role, and the excellent performance you treated us to at the interview. Please report to the director at the theatre next Wednesday morning, where you will meet the rest of the cast.

Yours faithfully,

Jonathon Milton

~~~~~~

Wednesday at the Authentic theatre

  ‘Hello Luvvies, wonderful to meet you all, I am here to replace your leading man, I hear he is not very well, I’m sorry to hear that. I’m William! I understand if we have a successful informal rehearsal first, then we can have a full dress rehearsal this afternoon.’

    ‘That’s right William, Grab a stool and start following the lines when we begin. You were very impressive during the interview, everyone was amazed at the way you read your lines from memory. Although there were a few anomalies and variations from the script. Nothing we can’t iron out though. After all, we don’t want to change the words of the immortal bard.’

    Later in the pub, the talk is all about the wonderful, trouble free rehearsal of the morning and the full dress rehearsal to follow, this afternoon.

    ‘William please  have another good home brewed stout! Sorry they don’t serve sack here, perhaps if we ask them to order some especially for you, then you can enjoy it while you are working here!’

     ‘Fine thanks! I won’t have another drink now. If I drink too much then I will be heady this afternoon.’ Replied William.

    Back at the theatre, William is shown to the star’s dressing room. ‘Here are your costumes made to an authentic Elizabethan design. Good job you are the same build as our previous leading man. The makeup artist will be along shortly.’

     ‘WHAT! I was under the impression this was an authentic production. You have even altered the original words out of all recognition. I know the author, William Shakespeare would never have applied modern day makeup. I am not a circus clown man!  I would like to see the Director.’  Shouted William irritability. ‘Get him at once!’

    ‘Yes Sir!’ said the stage hand.

   The Director arrived and was stunned to hear about this turn of events.

   William shouted at him, before he could open his mouth.  “If I’m expected to  mouth incomplete sentences and words that have been subtly altered, then to have this muck applied to my face, then I refuse to play the part. It’s bad enough that the original play has been altered forever over the centuries.’

  The Director scratched his head and firmly replied, ‘Are you mad? This play is a word-for-word adaptation from the Folger library, based on the First Folios. Now I suggest you get your coat and clear off back to where you came from!’

  William was taken aback by this attitude and as he was putting his coat on he shouted,  ‘I will refer this non-authenticity to the trades description department of the Lord Chancellor’s Office.’

Copyright © Written by John Yeo All rights reserved.

 

 

photo of black ceramic male profile statue under grey sky during daytime

Photo by Mike on Pexels.com

Copyright © Written by John Yeo All rights reserved.

 

 

NO SMOKE WITHOUT FIRE

 This week in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, Pegman takes us to Rams Island, an island on a lake in Northern Ireland. Though I picked a remote spot, you’re welcome to choose a more urban location anywhere in Northern Ireland.

Your mission is to write up to 150 words inspired by the prompt. Once your piece is polished, share it with others using the Linkup below.

Ram’s Island, Northern Ireland | Darran McDonnell, Google Maps

NO SMOKE WITHOUT FIRE

by John Yeo

  Billy and Pat, an adventurous pair of treasure hunting fanatics were chortling away at what they had discovered inside the chimney. An incredibly old and extremely beautiful locked box. This box was bound with rusted, salt-encrusted metal bands that were so corroded they were almost crumbling away. Pat gingerly rubbed the top of the box to reveal the hairy smiling face of a strange horned man. Intricate carving and strange writing with a floral emblem surrounded this kindly face.

  ‘We’ve got something good here Billy.’

   ‘Aye Pat! We’ll get some good money for this!’

Pat suddenly grabbed a rock and smashed the metal bands.

 Billy was shocked. ’What did you do that for?’

   ‘To see what’s inside, might be gold or jewels,’ replied Pat,

  Slowly Billy raised the tight-fitting lid. Dense smoke filled the air. Surrounded by ethereal music the two treasure hunters passed out. The box was gone?

© Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved.