This is a response to a prompt on The Last Post on WordPress



by John Yeo

  We had been invited to tea at the vicarage, the vicar was new to our parish. We were keen to get to know him and to make a good impression. Matilda and I had been warned to expect something of a third degree interrogation as he was keen to familiarize himself with everyone and everything connected to his new duties.
  We arrived at the vicarage, slightly early for our appointment, the pathway leading to the front door was untidy and somewhat overgrown with weeds and uncultivated. Matilda was dressed in her nicest clothes, to make a good initial Impression, and she clicked her tongue with an audible tut-tut. She was wearing a pair of brilliant white gloves that were far  too nice to spoil by pushing a grubby bell push. I politely stepped up and ignoring the bell, I gave the grubby door-knocker a comprehensive bang.
  After we had waited for a few minutes, a cheerful buxom lady with permed dark brown hair kept in place with a hairband, opened the door. She had a brightly coloured floral apron over a neatly tailored two piece suit.
  ‘Ah! You must be Mr. and Mrs. Smithers. Come in; I’m Constance, my husband is expecting you.’

  ‘Yes! That’s us, call us Roger and Matilda please.’

We were shown into a comfortable book-lined study complete with several comfortable leather chairs. Seated at a large desk smoking a decorative pipe was our new vicar. Except he looked altogether much different than the person we had envisaged. He had shoulder-length greying hair complete with a ginger-coloured, greying moustache and beard. He wore a black short-sleeved top that revealed numerous colourful tattoos on both arms. His clerical dog-collar was virtually invisible behind his thick beard.
With a cheerful, ‘Howdy-doo!’ the vicar immediately jumped out of his chair and extended his hand.

‘I’m so pleased to meet you! I’m the Reverend Randolph, please take a seat. You’ve met Constance my lady wife, no doubt she will appear in a few minutes with some tea and biscuits.’

  We were both taken aback by his unconventional appearance. I warmly shook the proffered hand although Matilda abruptly sat down on the nearest comfortable seat. I think she was in a mild state of shock. It was when he broke the news about the new order of service that finally shook her up.
  ‘We plan to get rid of the organ and establish a guitar-led musical service led by our son Randy and his gospel group.
There will be flags issued to the congregation to wave in time to the music. We will encourage much clapping and swaying to the beat of the drums.’

It was at this point we both got up and headed for the front door where we left in the most abrupt manner possible.

© Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved